“I spent that whole afternoon swimming in our abandoned pond like a crazy woman. No one knew what was happening inside me; my whole life was crushing inside my chest. I saw them together in my own bed. I can’t make you understand about that deep, burning pain in the chest if you have never gone through the betrayal of your partner who you once trusted the most and to whom you promised to live your whole life with in any situation.
My husband betrayed me, he betrayed me with my own blood whom I was upbringing all her life as if I was her mother. I never thought in my worse dreams that even she could do this to me: my only sister who was with me after the death of our mother. My only sister, whom I loved as my child, seized everything from me. She fell in love with my husband and took my nine years of married life and my future, my dreams, and all my beliefs that I could never rebuild again as a human being. Our family tried a lot to make her understand but she was in love; no one could make her understand. My father hit her miserably, tried to lock her in my parents’ home but she escaped again and again and came to my husband. I couldn’t say anything to her. She was my child, my sister. It was very tough for me to accept that situation. I wanted to kill myself several times in order to make the situation easier. I was finding a lot of ways to kill myself; to leave this life but I could not because of my son and maybe I am not brave enough. I handed my love to my sister and wished them luck the night I flew from our town and never returned again. Last year in the middle of the night without thinking where I was going, where I would go, how would survive with my four-year-old son, I left everything. Nevertheless, I am alive. But inside me everything has died: my soul, my love, my every single dream, all my beliefs. I lost all my trust of everyone; I am just alive on the outside. I forgot to smile brother. Nowadays, even my smile appears as if I am crying.- Hasina Akhter“